What does “Service” Mean?

I have always had this issue with, “service.” Everybody’s always talking about service…gotta do service and works blah blah blah. Preach from that high horse! Preach it! Amen! I also have always believed and was raised in church to believe that ‘by works alone shall no man inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.’ I do know that just being a fake do-gooder, busybody is not your free ride into heaven – you backstabbing, snooty, snotty, stuck-up, holier-than-thou, Escalade-driving hypocrites! And you know who you are! REPENT!!

I have tried my hand at the “service” bit myself. It was not rewarding personally or spiritually. It benefited no one and no good ultimately came from it no matter how much of my heart and soul I poured into it and no matter how much I prayed and studied the scripture and prayed more. No fruit was born, nothing changed, stagnation continued, a weighty despair remained. It was so thick that you could almost cut it with a knife. Nope, “service” as it turned out, was not what God was calling me to do apparently, I guess. I don’t know.

For my entire life, I have felt “a pull” from God. I have fought it on and off over the years as I wrestled with life and faith and God, but still I am drawn to God for some crazy reason. Yep, they are gonna lock me away for sure now! LOL!!! God Bless Stephen King for now I have the ACTUAL name to refer to this “pull” from God that I feel. I have always felt “the drawing or a drawing” from God. There is another term for it that I have refused to use my entire life because I am not worthy of that term, and because that term is a “Holy” term and I am most definitely NOT a “Holy” person. I have felt a “Calling” from God. God has been “Calling” me to do something, but I just have never freaking been able to figure out what that “something” is specifically. Perhaps it is simply to spend the rest of my life studying the Word, questioning, thinking, praying, and being “drawn” closer to God. I don’t know.

Sheri gave me a Daily Devotional that one of our most beloved, cherished, and respected friends had given to Sheri many years ago when Sheri needed it, and now it was I who needed it and Sheri passed it on to me. The other day I read a Devotional on Service. It matched the events in my life over the past three months, especially this morning’s event.

I had to make several phone calls, one to Blue Cross, which meant long hold times each time I had to call. I called Blue Cross and I was on hold for about 25 minutes and when they picked up, it disconnected me. So I had to call back and jump through all the menu hoops, which takes almost 8 minutes before you get placed into the hold queue. And there I sat on hold again, for about 30 minutes.

I was not “tickled pink” to be on hold that long, but I was not in a rage, but I was rather upset over the entire ordeal. However, about 2 minutes before someone picked up the phone; I just got this feeling of sunshine and warmth, and well, love. All of my frustrations and anger were just swept away and I just had this feeling of overwhelming joy and love and I just talked to God when that happened and I felt great. When the poor lady picked up the phone, she was in “defensive-ready-to-speak-to-an-angry-person” mode and all tense, and frantic, and stressing-out. I think I cracked a joke and then told her how sorry I felt for her for being so busy today having to take call after call like that without any breaks in between each call. She said it was a crazy, unusual day and she appreciated my patience. I cracked jokes and had her rolling laughing for the entire 5 minutes or so that we were on the phone together.

When I got off the phone, I thanked God for taking away my stress and frustration so that I could bring some joy and laughter into this lady’s day.

I have had episodes like this for several weeks now. It is a wonderful blessing. I think of it as a Gift from God. When it starts to happen, I begin to pray and I feel as though a warm light shines down on me and washes away all of my frustrations, and angers, and worries and fills me with overwhelming love. It’s the closest feeling to love, or maybe it is love. Regardless, I become happy, and want everyone to be happy and enjoy life and look at all the good that is all around them, and I want to brighten their day.

The devotional said that when Jesus was speaking of “service,” he was speaking of them serving God with their hearts. Jesus wasn’t talking about who could feed the most homeless people. Yes, Jesus did preach to take care of the less fortunate, and of each other, to treat everyone EQUALLY, not because you feel a sense of “obligation to do your service,” but because your heart is right with God. You serve God and you feel “drawn” to feed that homeless guy, or volunteer for this fundraiser instead of being shamed or pressured into it. And you serve as many or as few as you feel “drawn” to serve, if that’s your thing, that is.

At the end of the day though, I still have no idea what God is drawing me to do and who am I to presume to know what God wants until he reveals it to me? I do know that I like to help people and if that is what God’s idea of “service” is for me, then bring on the next angry, frustrated, stressed-out person and give me a few minutes with them to brighten their day!  

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