A wave of fear flooded my soul.
Is this the end? No more life’s goal?
With my last breath, I express my love,
Look to heaven, to the snow white dove.
I close my eyes, which begin to tear,
Thoughts so panicked, frantic heart beating.
Struck down so young, for family I fear.
Cuddle me as I feel my life fleeting…
>ð|~@-@~|ð<
One day it struck my brain,
And with it came much pain.
Fear of the unknown gripped my heart,
My doctors knew not where to start.
They ran their tests, gave their medication,
My brain got worse and all I felt was pain.
From reality, I took vacation
Trying to escape, but just went insane.
>ð|~@-@~|ð<
The dark spot, lesions
Brought Multiple Sclerosis
I slowly degrade
>ð|~@-@~|ð<
Brain
Lesions, Damaged
Hurting, Spinning, Slowing
Memories of what was
Thoughts
>ð|~@-@~|ð<
Yes, a common theme for those of us with MS, is that of pain. For me, I feel as though I am being drawn and quartered, well, at least my left arm feels like it’s being torn from my body. The pain is unlike anything I’d ever imagined I could ever learn to live with. There is a deep, burning, tearing pain down inside the shoulder socket, then my trap up to my neck muscles are pulled tight and I can feel the muscles pulling on my large arteries that run down the side of my neck, then the pain radiates down my shoulder and down my arm, shooting lightening bolts of pain down my arm and into my elbow joint. The pain also radiates around my back and into my shoulder blade and it feels like there is a steel rod stuck under my shoulder blade, jabbing it upwards, trying to pry it away from my body, and tear it off…I guess when my arm gets torn off too? LOL!!!
For the past few days, the pain has increased greatly. I don’t know why, but I think it’s because it’s been so hot lately and I’ve not been sleeping well….well, I never sleep “well,” but here lately, I’ve not even been getting any napping during the day, so I’m only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a day.
It’s funny. I could write a novel on all my aches and pains. I live in constant pain. I hurt all the time from so many strange places on my body that should not be hurting and have no reason to hurt. It’s just my broken brain that’s “telling me” that I hurt. I wish it would also “tell me” that it doesn’t hurt for a while…
>ð|~@-@~|ð<
teddwebb 