teddwebb

Shit happens every day, but it can always be wiped away…

Archive for the tag “Buddy Jesus”

And I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, and then some more…

How Many Miles to Go

Ah, I just LOVE my little subscription to the UCC Daily Devotional. It’s always
a special, sweet treat to start my day out and quite often, more often than not,
it sparks within me, the need to write one of little Blogs.

Today’s Devotional was entitled:

The Third Mile

Excerpt from Matthew 5: 38-42
” . . . Whoever forces [41] you to go one mile, go with him two…”

The UCC took the stance on this as that of the message of yes, be patient, allow
yourself to be walked all over, but God is not telling you that there is never a
cause for when you cannot defend yourself by following a path of trying to help
your “enemy” see the errors in their ways and explain what damage they are doing,
what actions they should stop doing, and what words they should stop saying. And
thus in turn, they also should stand up and teach their “enemy,” their “foe,” the
peaceful, the Holy way, all the while taking a beating now and then.

My message is a bit different from its message though. At first glance, it appears
that Jesus is saying to roll over, be cowards and let everyone walk all over you.
Show your throat to your “enemy” willingly and stand by like sheep being abused
instead of fighting back because Jesus and The Lord abhor violence and the Holier
route, the Godly path, is the path of peace.

The Ancient Assyrian Laws and the Babylonian Hammurabi were brutal laws by which
all the ancient peoples had lived by up until Jesus’ time, “an eye for an eye, a
tooth for a tooth,” and in certain cases money could be paid as compensation. These
were well entrenched laws by which everyone had lived by for thousands of years.
These laws also spawned blood feuds and the need for ever increasing numbers of
organized policing, the creation of formal laws, and the creation of formal courts.
By the time Jesus was a boy and then grew to a man, the corruption within these
courts was prolific, and well-known. The manipulation of the laws by the wealthy
to control the poor ran rampant. The merchants and tax collectors had under-the-table
deals running, adding to the social corruption, and the working class, the poor,
were being so taken advantage of, so mistreated, so treated unfairly, that a core
aspect of this entire system was well overdue for a major change. Jesus was just
the man to bring on that change!

Jesus’ message is not to just take it. Jesus’ message is that if someone wrongs
you in some way, do not seek revenge. This one, simple act, right off the bat, totally
eliminates all of the blood feuds. This one, simple act, eliminates everyone from
suing each other in court just because someone accidentally harmed someone else,
as is often the case, which is also very often what starts a volley of suits back
and forth leading to multiple retaliations between two parties. With Jesus’ one
simple statement of turning your other cheek, he has taken all the power away from
the “enemy.” He doubly reinforces this in the following verse regarding the loaning
of cloaks and their return, even if it does mean that you have no blanket to sleep
on at night. They no longer matter. Only God matters at that point. Only your trust
in God matters at that point. Turn the other cheek is simply do not seek revenge
and do not hold grudges. In Romans 12:17, Paul reiterates this sentiment in, “Repay
no one evil for evil.” And in verse 41, Jesus is speaking of carrying the gear of
Roman soldiers under occupation, as the soldiers would force the Jews to carry their
gear for them. Jesus is not concerned with rebellions and warfare’s of men. What
is it for you to meddle in the affairs of the disputes of men when the kingdom of
righteousness waits ahead? Set aside your petty disputes.

Jesus is freeing people from the legal system. He is unchaining them from the legalistic
system necessitated by the Hammurabi brutality. Jesus not only came to free man
from the Jewish Law, be he also came to free man from his own self-imposed socially
entrenched legal system. Of course, Jesus came for a few other reasons as well,
but that’s off-topic for this discussion! LOL!!! Jesus is, in essence, giving mankind
a clean slate to start over with and he is laying down a “firmly flexible” simple
system with which for them to start.

Just think of how much more simple life would be if no one begrudged anyone, if
no one demanded revenge, if no one demanded retribution, if everyone were kind to
everyone regardless of how they were treated, if everyone willingly helped everyone
regardless of who they were, and if you always spoke kind words to each other regardless
of what was said to you, and if everyone walked on that extra mile for each other…

Heavenly Father, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, Most Forgiving, Most Loving,

Your Love Shines upon the Earth, Filling Everything and Everyone with Blessed Life

Your Holy Words are so Inspiring, Guiding, and Appreciated

Great Almighty Creator of All the Universes, it is You that I Worship, The One True
God

I ask Heavenly Father, that You Lead and Guide us as we Travel Through Life

I Pray Dear God for the Strength to Always be Ready, Willing, and Able to Walk that
Extra Mile

For it is in The Name of The Almighty God I do Pray and Ask These Things,
Amen.

 

>ð|~@-@~|ð<

That Old Man Devil Comes a Creeping

That Old Man Devil Comes a Creeping

This is a Devotional that the United Church of Christ sent out to everyone who had
signed up to receive their daily devotionals. This is a repost of their April 02,
2011 posting:

“I Met Jesus and My Life Is Not Better”

Excerpt from John 9: 8 – 9

“The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar began to ask, ‘Is this
not the man who used to sit and beg?’ Some were saying, ‘It is he.’ Others were
saying, ‘No, but it is someone like him.’ He kept saying, ‘I am the man.’”

Reflection by Anthony B. Robinson

What happens to someone who is touched and changed by Jesus?

When I watch a religious TV show or listen to some personal testimonies, it seems
that after meeting Jesus everything is better. “Jesus came into my life and now
business is great, my wife and I are super in love, and the kids, who were on drugs,
are getting straight A’s. Thank you, Jesus.”

It may be that way for some people. But I’m struck by what happened to the blind
beggar, in John 9, who was touched and healed by Jesus. He got healed and his neighbors
no longer knew him. His parents disowned him. And he was kicked out of the church.
If he’d given a testimony it might have been, “Yes, I was healed by Jesus and my
life turned into a mess. People I’d known for a long time acted as if they didn’t
know me, my family didn’t want anything to do with me, and the authorities threatened
to arrest me.”

I imagine his testimony might continue. “Yes, since meeting Jesus my life is harder
in many ways. But, you know, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because now I see.
I see how afraid many people are, how afraid I was. Afraid to tell the truth, afraid
to live, afraid to take any risks. It’s like we’re blind. It makes me sad. But I
don’t want to go back.”

Being touched and blessed by Jesus may not mean our lives are suddenly successful,
as society defines success. Jesus may make life harder, but in ways that matter.
He gives us problems worth having. And when we experience hard things on his account,
that is when we come to really know him.

Prayer

When you open my eyes to see by the light of your truth and grace, Lord, grant me
the courage to keep ‘em open. Amen.

Author: Anthony B. Robinson, a United Church of Christ minister

For the past 3 weeks, I’ve been having a tough spiritual time. When I say, “tough,”
I mean that “the devil” has been tempting me, trying to get at me, trying to distract
me, trying to draw me away from God. When I want to read my Devotional, a little
thought will pop into my head to try to distract me to do something else. Sometimes
a strong urge to go off and do something else will enter my mind trying to draw
me away from picking up my Bible to read The Word when I feel The Holy Spirit calling
to me to pick it up. When I wake up in the morning, I hear the tender, gentle, quiet
voice of The Spirit calling me softly to pick up my study Bible and read John 9,
or James 2, to just randomly flip through 2 Corinthians, or to read Habakkuk (and
I don’t even know what Habakkuk is!), and then I will feel that old man devil trying
to distract me and pull me away.

Sadly, I have to admit, he sometimes wins. I am human and I am weak. I pray to God
for strength. I pray to God for wisdom. I pray to God for help to discern The Word
from the pen of man. I pray to God for guidance and perseverance. I pray to God
to help me follow Jesus, to follow The Word, to be a Good Man, a Disciple of God.
I pray for my family, friends, church, and others as well that lay heavy upon my
heart. I pray to give and offer thanksgiving and to show my gratitude to God. I
pray to let God know that I really do appreciate everything that He’s done for me
and my family and friends. I pray to give praise to God. I pray to worship and give
glory and honor to God. I pray. I pray.

I have fallen from the grace of God and have returned into the light of God several
times over my lifetime. I know that when I am close to God, the devil attacks and
tries his best to distract me and draw me away from God. He does his very best to
throw everything he can in my way to prevent me from staying close to God, and from
getting closer to God. When you are in a relationship, ANY relationship, you have
to work at it in order to keep that relationship alive, flourishing, active, and
growing. In order to grow that relationship even deeper, you have to put even more
effort into it and the same thing goes for your relationship with God. Once you
pull your head out of your ass and see the light of God and form that relationship
with God, you have to keep working at it, daily, hourly, just like a marriage, EXACTLY
like a marriage, EXACTLY LIKE A MARRIAGE!

When I am not in a relationship with God, I can pick up the Bible and read it at
will and put it down and go on my way. To the contrary, when I am in a relationship
with God, and especially as that relationship buds, grows, and begins to flourish.
Old man devil begins to find increasingly and increasingly more and more of life’s
difficulties to throw in my path to prevent me and distract me from working on that
relationship. That old man devil does his best to kick good old Tedd’s ADHD into
high fucking gear, throw his dementia into a tailspin of confusion and mindless
wandering through the house looking for things and forgetting what he’s looking
for but continuing to look in hopes that he will find it anyway and just hours of
staring, lost in his own muddled muddied thoughts, and even the most hard fought,
prayer-filled attempts at reading a few scriptures become an epic battle of wills.
I feel like a battleground between God and the devil sometimes! LOL!!!

Fortunately, I have God on my side and the Power of The Holy Spirit to lead and guide me and
I am usually able to latch onto a few coherent scriptures, or if I am lucky, able
to make it through an entire book so that I can return later and begin to actually
study that book. It is slow and steady work, involving a lot of repetition, but
that’s mostly my own fault since I INSIST upon reading the same Books in the Bible
from half a dozen different translations! Ah, Overly Anal-Retentive Tedd Strikes
Again!!!

SO, I return, stubborn and bull-headed as ever. I pray more, I read my devotionals,
I pray, I read the Bible, I pray, I study the Bible, I pray, and all the while that
old man devil is doing everything within his power to destroy and inhibit the growth
of my newfound relationship with God. When “I found God” did anything in my life
suddenly get better? Nope. Did anything gradually get better? Nope. In fact, everything
has pretty much stayed exactly like it was, or has gotten worse. And to TOP IT OFF,
my quality of life has gotten a WHOLE LOT WORSE in the past 3 weeks because that
old man devil has been at full speed ahead trying to interject the speed of life,
those problems and duties of living in our Über-Fast-Paced California lifestyles,
and my myriad of illnesses into my God-Relationship-Building Time. “GRBT” 😉

Sometimes I still doubt my faith, but here recently, too many strange (for different
blogs) ‘things’ and patterns have been emerging, both from the various Bibles I
read and from the various concordances and studies I read which make me think that
I may be on the right track, or I may be stark raving mad. It is one of those two,
but definitely nowhere in the middle from the patterns I am seeing. I am a master of
patterns – it is data; I am data; we are one -> analyzing data patterns is what
I have been doing since 1986 (hacker/phreaker/cracker, then crypto Military Intelligence
National Security Agency, then data load pattern analysis for optimal “data” flow
through major hubs on IBM mainframes, then I went freelance data analysis/data workflow/complex
patterns for 4 years, then I went as in-house data/patterns/x-systems/’plausible
deniability hacker’ for 8 years)…so A LOT more of my brain is going to have to die
off before my “Bio Pattern Recognition Engine” is knocked out of commission! LOL!!!
But still, I am not the sharpest light bulb anymore, or the brightest thumbtack,
and my confidence is weakened by my current state, so I still doubt my faith sometimes,
regardless of what stands before me. This is mostly because I lack the benefit of
a PHD in Theology and am lacking the full knowledgebase, the full dataset from which
to draw my conclusions…

I see others who have found Jesus. Praise God! Their lives turn around. Their health
improves. Their marriage rebounds. They get new, high-paying jobs so they’re not
living paycheck to paycheck anymore. They found Jesus and apparently Jesus found
them and brought a bag full of “here’s an easy life for you now my Son” with him.
Yeah, I’m a little bitter over that sometimes. I’m human, but I pray for strength
to not feel that way and it helps take that anger out of my heart and replace it
with warmth and gladness and joy for them for being blessed.

I on the other hand, without fail, without fail EVER, when I find Jesus, well my
life turns into a stinking pile of shit.

It feels more different this time than it has ever felt before though. I feel hope.
I still feel blessed no matter how bad of things come my way. I still turn to God.
I still have the Love of God, the Faith in God in my heart and an unquenchable desire
to be as close to God as I can be this time. I think that old man devil is just
wasting his time. He may slow me down, but he will never break up my relationship
with God.

Praise be to God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, oft Forgiving. Amen.

 

>ð|~@-@~|ð<

God Answers Prayers, but Not Always as YOU Expect!

God Answers
Prayers, but Not Always as YOU Expect!

Well, in case you’ve not read my “About” section, or if you don’t know me, or haven’t
figured it out by now, I also have mild schizophrenia. I’ve had it my entire life,
from about 4 -5 years old to present. No, I’m not some raving lunatic, running around
seeing ghoulish dead people. No I don’t think God is talking directly to me. No
I don’t hear God’s voice like some loud speaker or run around in the streets talking
to myself scratching my arms like some whack-o nut-job. (although I’m a bit of a
loon sometimes according to my wife…and all of my friends!) I have normal, mild
schizophrenia, not the paranoid delusional psychotic schizophrenia type (like what
you see on TV all the time) and have had it since I was born – my entire life (growing
up with that was a trip!). In fact, there are probably a few people that you work
with who have schizophrenia too, but they just don’t have the balls to say anything
because of the negative, ignorance-driven stigma associated with that word. GROW
UP PEOPLE!!! There are many levels of this disease, just like everyone who has AIDS
isn’t some emaciated-looking pasty dude in a hospital bed with no hair, covered
in sores, who looks like he’s about ready to die. You might have someone at your
office that has AIDS too (perhaps you have lunch with him regularly even), and who
will live out a normal, [relatively] healthy life (because of all the medical progress
we’ve made in that disease).

Anyway, yesterday, 03/08/2011, I had a “Bad One,” a bad hallucination. I don’t have
these very often. In fact, I’ve not had a “Bad One” in weeks. This one was a freakazoid!
You know those big black markers, the ones with the wide felt tips, or like the
black Eraser-Board markers with the wide tips?
Marker Striper Monster
Well if you drew a large diagonal line with one of those that was about 2 feet wide
and 5 feet tall and then suspended it in mid-air, and then played scary-ass metallic
cutting, scrapping noises as it moved around and slowly came towards you – that
is what I saw when I turned the corner to go into my bathroom to take a shower!
I stood there frozen with fear. I quickly hobbled away, but the noise didn’t stop.
So I braved it and went back to confront it. I have had schizophrenia my entire
life and I knew this was not real; it just startled me. So I had nothing to be afraid
of, but as I rounded the hallway corner and that scraping, metallic cutting noise
got louder and I saw that giant, sharp black stripe coming at me, my heart was gripped
in sheer terror, a horrific terror that grips you like right before an auto-accident
that you realize is going to happen and you know you can’t stop it – that balled
up steel bearing in your abdomen that tells you to prepare for death.

It was like my muscles were stuck and would not move fast enough. I was in agonizing
pain and I am so crippled up that I could not get out of there fast enough and I
was so scared, in so much terror. Every hair on my body didn’t just stand up; they
jumped off my body and ran away themselves! They were like, screw this shit Man,
I’m getting the hell outta here!!! I made it safely to the couch. The “Marker Stripe
Monster” was confined to the bathroom, so I was safe. I had to email Sheri. I never
email Sheri when I have a hallucination. I hate to bother her with them. They are
usually stupid small shit, like I will see the wall move, or I will see some small
object appear, like a ball, or some other stupid normal object so there’s no reason
to bother Sheri because they don’t bother me. (I also see bugs all the time, ALL
THE TIME.) I’m like, “oh, looky there, a gigantic orange ball sitting in the kitchen…no
worries, it will be gone in a few minutes…” and it is gone in a few minutes. This
one was different though. This one scared me, disturbed me and I had to let Sheri
know. Also, for some odd reason, I had to, was drawn to call upon God for help.
I’ve never felt the need to call upon God before, but here recently, I have started
involving God more and more into my daily life. I have begun making little changes
here and there that involve God, so I guess that’s why. I don’t know.

So I sat on the couch and I prayed for God to help me, to give me strength. I cried
out to God for help, to take it away, to heal me. God does not wave a magic wand
and make it go away. God does not take dead brain cells, “atrophy,” areas of brain
death, and then suddenly defy the laws of physics, biochemistry, God’s own laws
of ‘Mother Nature,’ and spontaneously regenerate neurons. No, if God did that, then
he would fix the screwed up “neurochemistry engine” in my brain that creates floods
of random proteins that cause electrical storms resulting in seizures and schizophrenia.
God did not take my schizophrenia away, but He did send His Holy Spirit to strengthen
me and remind me that God is always with me, no matter what else happens on this
earth; God is always there for me and with me.

When I got up from that couch, I still had a small pang of fear, but each time that
pang stabbed fear into my heart, I leaned on God and put myself in His hands and
trusted in Him and that pang went no deeper, and I felt comforted by the strength
of God, by having God on my side. And when I rounded that corner, that damn “Marker
Stripe Monster” was still there, but it no longer held any power over me. It was
just another hallucination, just another bug that wasn’t really there. I have schizophrenia
and I always know, ALWAYS know what is real and what is not real. The VAST Majority
of the time, I just shrug it off – if you freaked out every time you saw something,
then you would go nuts living your entire life with this disease. You have to be
grounded in reality and just accept it for what it is: a disease and just a hallucination,
nothing more.

God healed me. God answered my prayer. No, God did not actually take my disease
away, but God did take the power that the disease held over me away. God healed
the sickness in my heart that the disease had created. God cured the enslavement
over my soul that the disease had taken by its use of fear. God took my fear away.
God made me strong. God was my rock, my savoir, my comforter in my hour of need.
Did God heal me? Yep and not only did God heal me, but He reminded me that whenever
I am sick and scared and lonely, that all I have to do is call upon Him and He will
be there with me, be there holding my hand, lifting me when I can’t stand, carrying
me when I can’t walk, comforting me when I am scared, and giving me the strength
to carry on in spite of and in the face of whatever stands in my path.

The Word offers many passages of hope and strength and inspiration…

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget all his benefits—who forgives all
your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns
you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that
your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” [Psalm 103:2-5]

“O Lord, my strength and my fortress, my refuge in time of distress.” [Jeremiah
16:19]

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” [Jeremiah 29:13]

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”
[Jeremiah 31:3]

“Ah Lord God! It is you who made the heavens and the earth by your great power and
by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.” [Jeremiah 32:17]

“See, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too hard for me?” [Jeremiah
32:27]

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” [Jeremiah 29:11]

“This is what the Lord says: ‘Your wound is incurable, your injury is beyond healing.
There is no one to plead your cause, no remedy for your sore, no healing for you.
All your allies have forgotten you; they care nothing for you. … But I will restore
you to health and heal your wounds…'” [Jeremiah 30:12-14, 17]

“Ask and you will be given what you ask for. Seek, and you will find. Knock and
the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Anyone who seeks, finds.
If only you will knock, the door will be open.” [Matthew 7:7-8]

“Your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” [Luke 8:48]

“If you abide in Me and My Word abides in you, ask what you will and it shall be
done unto you.” [John 15:7]

“…how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he
went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because
god was with HIM.” [Acts 10:38]

“But we…rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character; and character, hope.” [Romans 3:5]

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in HIM, so that
you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” [Romans 15:13]

“God keeps His promise, and He will not allow you to be tested beyond your power
to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, He will give you strength to
endure it, and so provide you with a way out.” [1 Corinthians 10:13]

“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise
him up. If he has sinned he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each
other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” [James 5:15-16]

Glory be to God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, oft Forgiving.

God is Great!

God is Good!

God offer’s Comforting Warmth to those who

Call Upon Him and Seek Him in Faith.

God is a Loving God.

Trust in God,

Seek Wisdom and Guidance and Salvation by Following Jesus,

Pray and Worship the Lord with All Your Heart, All Your Mind, and
All Your Soul.

Have Faith in the Lord and Love God.

God Loves You.

God Cares for You.

God Cares about You.

God Wants to Help You.

All You Have to do is Call Upon His Name, Listen for His Gentle Whisper,

Have Faith in God, and Trust in the Lord God Almighty, the One True
God.

Glory be to God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, oft Forgiving.

Amen.

Tedd

 

>ð|~@-@~|ð<

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